after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
