i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
