It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
