so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we're so committed to being not committed
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
