I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
