glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
