I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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