Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize