it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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