Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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