You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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