that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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