Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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