well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize