I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
