he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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