I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize