it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
