there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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