I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
