Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
