would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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