I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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