I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize