Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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