I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well you can't waste a boner
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
