lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
