i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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