i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
