Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
