I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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