the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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