he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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