oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize