he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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