awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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