There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
