He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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