If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
