Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
