I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
