having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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