woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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