She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
