i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
