I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
