Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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