you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dicks are not precious.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
