I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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