I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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