I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
