If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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