..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
