i permit you to call me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize