Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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