I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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