I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
