Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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