I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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