both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
