If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
soo... how was my night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
