First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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