i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
