if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
