you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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