Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
